There is an entire day each year dedicated to the importance of making time to talk. The 2nd of February was national time to talk day! We all need to experience the relief and comfort that comes with having open and honest communication with, not only our loved ones but ourselves. 

Sometimes, processing challenging emotions comes from hearing ourselves relay the events of our lives in story form. When we begin to notice where we place details of importance during a conversation, we can grasp a better understanding of where our head is at and how we mentally engage with the memory of that time in our lives. Even when we just need to talk about ourselves, having an engaged and empathetic sounding board to bounce ideas off of can make a world of difference to our mental integrity. 

From a Different Angle

As many things are, understanding ourselves is often about perspective. When we talk about ourselves for the benefit of someone else’s understanding, we begin to look at our struggles from a different vantage point. This can help us access the resources we need to overcome those difficult times. Even if solutions do not make themselves immediately available, gaining knowledge about ourselves through intentional interaction can provide us with the tools we need to achieve personal success. 

For instance, a tense conversation with someone we value can make us feel mentally cloudy at the time of the discussion or disagreement. We know we are not at our best when we can not think clearly, so we often step away from conversions of that nature to gather our thoughts. What we do next is often the make or break for repair afterward. 

Before we have a discussion with someone we would like to repair an interaction with, it can be a good idea to first have a conversation with ourselves. Identifying what went wrong and how to fix it can be troubling when the conversation is one-sided. Going to a neutral third party that can offer a judgment-free listening environment can be a boon to our pursuit of personal awareness.

When relaying the facts of the incident, we prioritize the important things and leave out something that we feel doesn't matter. By digging deeper, however, and speaking to someone whose only interest is to truly listen, we can help ourselves break down those important elements into more concrete ideas. This provides us with a much clearer picture of what went “wrong” and leads us to more quality solutions. 

Honesty and Integrity

It can be frustrating when we can’t identify where the challenges in our lives are coming from. Sometimes, things just feel a bit “off” in a way that we have trouble explaining and no immediate solutions seem to help.

This can be a time for talk. Telling someone who has no context about who we are about our lives can encourage us to give the most telling details about ourselves up front, opening up our own understanding of how we see ourselves. Once we have this knowledge, we can make the choice to alter how we present ourselves to people in the future, and even continue the practice on others in our circles of safety.

Talking to someone who is offering us security and empathy is an easy way to identify how we see ourselves. Those conversations can be like a mirror, except, in this case, we can change our reflection. 

Not Always Easy, but Necessary

Because of the last few years of our lives are filled with a great deal of social uncertainty, Gillian Sandstrom, Ph.D. postulates on a podcast for Speaking of Psychology that a barrier to communicating with others could be that we are mentally in a “negative cycle where we're out of practice, so we feel that we're not any good at it, so we don't do it so we get even more out of practice.”. 

The last two years have been full of social uncertainty. With every new conversation comes the understanding that mutual feelings of fatigue and uncertainty could be weighing on the individual we are talking to as much as it is on ourselves. This can make us hesitant to reach out, but Sandtrom encourages the practice of that activity more and more as we return to our individual definitions of normal. 

It’s Time to Talk

No matter where we are in our social journey, this national celebration of communication can serve as a reminder that we are not alone in our pursuit of connection. By being mindful of the benefits that talking things out brings to us, we can better quell our fears of discomfort or awkwardness and begin to realize that an empathetic listener is an incredible asset to our mental wellness. 

In honor of National Time to Talk Day, let’s make the most of it and enjoy the benefits of a meaningful connection this month!